Saturday, 7 February 2015

My thoughts...

Well hey there internet!

How’ve you been, it’s been a while, and to be honest, I don’t know why. I’ve excluded myself from the online world and I really don’t know why.

So I’ve decided to type it out and hopefully get some kind of clue to why I feel like this.

So I like a lot of things, I like food, I like travelling and the thought of being able to travel the world, I love the thought of being a successful person, I like meeting new people, I like fashion and makeup, photography, music, expressing my feelings, I like things that are classy, simple, elegant and minimalistic, I love comedy, colours, being happy and creative and I love sunshine!

I also love the internet, or... at least I thought I did.

I’m not saying I don’t like the internet anymore. Because I do, I just don’t know whether the amount I loved it about a year ago is the same as the amount I love it now.

But that’s normal right? It’s normal to not love anything anymore. You just sort of grow out of it.

But I don’t want to because I really wanted this to go somewhere.

Here’s the truth: I wanted to be a part of the online world for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to become well known and get loads of opportunities to do cool things and meet people who I admire etc.

And that is not the way I should have thought. Because even after a short while, it became something that seemed like a chore now, something that didn’t make me happy.

And this isn’t my job, I don’t have a job, I’m supposed to be studying and making sure I get into a good university to get a good job whilst being happy etc.

And as someone who stresses out easily it would make sense to just stop all this, just focus on studies and other bits and bobs but again, I don’t want to.

So to wrap up so far I’ve concluded the following:
·         I don’t feel as passionate about the internet as I used to be but I still like it.
·          I don’t want to stop doing what I’m doing, even though it feels like a chore.
·         And I also don’t want to do it for the wrong reasons. Yes making money from blogging would be amazing! But I don’t want that the reason to be why I want to post blogs.

Ok, maybe, there’s a difference between not feeling up to the thing you love and not loving it anymore. I think that’s how I feel.

No one wakes up every single day feeling amazing and ready to take on the world. And not everyone looks forward to doing something all the time whether or not it’s something they love. Although we should, but  we can’t help when our bodies feel like laying around all day in bed because it’s the chemicals and hormones rushing around us making us feel that way. And it’s also the chemicals and hormones in our body that make feel pumped up for the day!

That’s crazy right?

PHEW! It feels pretty good to let that out.

I’ve been so focused recently trying to figure ‘life’ out when truth be told, I can’t and I never will. And that is because the entire world has done the same and failed because life doesn’t need to be ‘figured out.’ It just needs to be lived. Lived to the fullest potential, because you have no idea what will happen in next year, next month or the next day.

My head has been too stuck in the future rather than focusing on now and it’s been driving mu CUH-RAZY.

Question of the day:  Erm...how are you feeling?

Comment below or tweet me @noreenkhanom


CYA :D

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